When I knew it was time to build a purpose driven life

About 10 years ago, I made the decision to build a purpose driven life. I left a corporate law firm job and started a law practice better aligned to my own passions and to my own vision of positive social impact. The journey has treated me well and I consider myself incredibly fortunate in how things have turned out—and curious what the future might hold for me as I continue my own personal journey of living close to purpose.

These are some of the things that were going through my head about 10 years ago when I made my decision to do this, and how I knew it was time to build a purpose driven life:

I couldn’t handle going into work 

This was a big one—waking up to go into my day job became an increasingly stressful experience that left me emotionally drained and empty.

After I graduated law school, I wasn’t sure what to do, but I was grateful when I secured a job with a major global law firm where I was learning and being challenged with some of the smartest lawyers I had ever met.

About 4 years in as an associate, I started to feel estranged from myself, and from the reasons why I went to law school. The thought of switching firms (“lateraling”) didn’t appeal to me, and that was another data point telling me I was living far from a more fundamental purpose. My emotions were telling me that maybe it was time to review and reconsider why I had gone to law school, and to pursue those reasons instead.

Part of me was saying I was born to do other things 

When I applied to law school, I wrote about being inspired to pursue positive social impact in the way that Thurgood Marshall had done in his career. For me, the cause of international justice and international human rights were powerful motivators for considering law as a profession. I knew I wanted to be part of a larger global movement that made the world a more dignified place, both for present and future generations.

As I considered whether it was time to build a purpose driven life, these thoughts came flooding back to me. Didn’t I owe it to myself to try to build this kind of life that I had always envisioned?

I had a deeper understanding that life is short.

One of my favorite expressions is memento mori—”remember you must die.” It’s an important reminder that our days are limited in number, and that tomorrow is never guaranteed. Every day is critical and important in living a life well-lived and -examined.

At this point in my life, I realized that life was precious and that death is a reality. I had lost important caregivers early in my life and also in my professional career, and their absence was a daily reminder that life doesn’t always go the way that you think it will. This understanding—that life is short—was an important motivator in deciding to pursue a purpose driven life.

I was open to the possibility that my actions could make a difference

Leaving a corporate law job for something entirely new, without any possibility of success, was a scary thought. In order to finally make the leap, I had to be open to the possibility that my actions could make a difference and that my efforts could succeed.

This was a very tough thing for me to get comfortable with, and I worried about this a lot. What if I pursued my passions and my purpose, but I failed? What if I couldn’t build a different kind of law practice? What if my purpose escaped me?

What comforted me was that I owed it to myself to try. I owed it to the younger version of me, who had dreamed of building a different and unique kind of law practice. And I owed it to the future version of me, a version that was potentially reaping the benefits of a well-taken risk. If I tried and I failed, then at least I had made an effort. I also felt sure that the attempt itself would lead to good things.

In the deepest part of my fear, I found a point of faith—a faith that my actions could make a difference, both for myself and for others.